Sad Old South Dakota

I've ben reading quite a bit about the exciting plans that the fine folks of South Dakota have to outlaw all abortions, even in the case of incest and rape. It's just too gross. I've spent a little time in South Dakota, and saw as much of it as I-90 permitted. I tried to think of nice things about the state - the way people say "Not all white South Africans could have been bad...." Actually, in that case, it's been my experience that give them a few cocktails and before you can say "Sun City" they are saying sinister and frientening things about the "blics," in a you-know-what-I-mean-kinda-way. Wink. Anyway, comparisons are odeous, and I'd hate to compare Good Old Gays are in the Constitution with Not So Much South Dakota. I can tell you that South Dakota is a weird place, a place where I saw two billboards that made me more than a little anxious, in a "we're not in Toronto anymore" kind of way. The first one we spotted along the highway said "South Dakota HATES Animal Rights Activists. The word "hates" was capitalized by them, not me, and was meant to look like dripping blood. Cute. The other was, believe it or not, much scarier to me. It was a poster of a "typical" happy 1950's era family saluting some sort of handsome young mlitary officer. It said "South Dakotans salute our Minuteman Missile crews." You're kidding, right? Didn't any of these people spend the better part of two years lying awake all night after watching "The Day After" like me? What about scaring yourself to death with the air raid sirens on your 12-inch ep of "Two Tribes" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood? Kids too young to remember the fear and terror of the Cold War? NO Problem!! How about a fun filled family day trip to America's newest National Historic Site while in South Dakota! Fun for the whole Family!!! There are some special activities for the kids, where they can play out all the Cold War fun that their little imaginations will allow!!! If you click on "more" on that page, you can download your "Little Minuteman Missile Ranger" his own missle control activity book!! Is this not insanity? Isn't Mount Rushmore scary enough, what with all those huge scary old white men looking down at them?!! Only in the State who's motto is "Under God the people rule" would any of this be okay.



Scariest of all though, and far more sinister in a consuming-crap-will-set-you-free kinda way was Wall Drug in Wall, South Dakota, which you have to stop at after seeing billboards for it for the 500 miles since Chicago. Also not to be missed is the (world's only!!!) Corn Palace . Betcha they don't have one of them in France!!!!!!