"You know us girls, we bruise like peaches!"

It's been a really, really long time, and I've really missed writing here, if only for myself. And as true as that is, there was always more of a motivation to write when I knew people were out there reading this. Lots has happened in.....in the past couple....years.



I dont have any idea where to start, so here's a little story for you to enjoy, particularly if you enjoy schadenfreude as muich as I do!

(I can't remember how to do any of the 'fancy' blog stuff, so bear with me.)


A little less than two years ago I had a stroke. The real deal, the no talking, walking etc. kind where you don't have to wait three months for an MRI (it took about 25 minutes, but only because I had a CT scan on the way. I loved the MRI scan incidentally, but that's another story....) So. Don't get me wrong. I love St. Michael's Hospital here in downtown Toronto. If youre sick, and especially if youre really sick, it's the place you want to be. But. St. Mikes is in the centre of downtown, and the Emergency Dept. can be a real shitshow at the best of times; homeless people, addicts, people in handcuffs etc. A real mess. I guess one of the 'best parts' about being seriously ill is getting to bypass the nightmare of the waiting room, and it's accompanying sounds, smells and sticky surfaces. Or so I thought. While I was whisked right into a room with an alarming amount of people attending to me (I'd never be the subject of nurses and doctors rushing, and around me. It was pretty scary, actually) I didn't get to bypass the stress. And it's a good thing for you.


Although the decision to admit me was made fairly quickly, after about two hours, it was more than 24 hours before I was moved from the ER to a room upstairs. It wasnt bed shortages, hospital cutbacks or bureaucratic incompetance that led to the delay, but kindness and generosity. You see my sister, who lives in Vancouver, had been alerted to the situation and had called the hospital, VISA in hand, to make sure I had a private room to convelesce in. Only later did I discover that the private room was $500/day, and had these special (and expensive) arrangements not been made I would have been in a 2 bed room, and for free. And fast.


The point is that I was in the ER for 24 hours waiting on a private room - one that, while a lovely gesture, wasnt at all necessary. And was there stress!? You have no idea, or will have some idea very shortly. And as I lay there, fed-up, scared and pretty confused, all I could do was listen, and.....jesus!


Lets see: there was the parade of drug seeking men and women, each with a crazier story then the last. It's just amazing how many people lose their full bottles of narcotics while just going about their daily lives! One particularly annoying and insistent "I'd like to speak to whoever is in charge" woman I nick-named Mrs. Jones, a name that stuck with the nurses and one they used on men and women for the rest of the night. There was the woman that was being unsucessfully held down by FOUR police officers while she screamed every bad word you can imagine. She ended-up with a Hanibal lectar mask on, tied to a chair. But I've saved the best for last, and even in my sorry state I managed to smile. Or at least half a smile.

I guess I had been finally dozing off a little despite the bright lights and sounds of people constantly being catheterized ("No, we're gonna need LOTS more lube nurse!/That's the wrong size tube!!") which I never quite 'got.' Suddenly I heard what I knew was walking, but sounded, um, bigger and clumsier. Like the way I'd imagined a giant might walk. I craned my neck, and I was right - it was a monster, about 6'5" and 220 lbs, and dressed kind of like a woman, or the way a dumb tall clumsy football player would imagine one should dress as a woman, on hallowe'en. You know, as a joke. I missed her speaking to the nurse the first time because I was having some neurological tests ("Can you touch your nose yet? Still no?") done on me and had to pay attention. But clearly I didn't miss much. Next, a nurse who was asian and about 5'5" and 95lbs went into her curtained-off area and said "I'm just here to take a little blood." Now picture the deepest voice you can imagine, saying, as she holds out an arm the size of the nurses waist "just be careful - you know, us girls, we bruise like peaches."



No. Peaches! You know, "us girls."

I had barely 'recovered' from stifling my laughter when I heard her curtain open and the (you have no idea how already fed-up) doctor enter.

"So, how can we help you today?," he asks.

"Well," James Earl Jones' voice begins, "I've been having this problem, and I went to my family doctor, but he said he couldn't look at it because it's not covered, because, you know,....because I'm a woman now."

("Oh, here we go!," thinks Peter, and I'll bet fed-up doctor as well.")

So doctor says, sounding both impatient and stressed-out "Fine. Forget about what the other doctor said. Just. Tell. Me. What. The. Problem. Is."

"Well," she begins, "and I can't tell you how nice it is to hear that. For the past few months I've had the feeling that my prostate was, you know, enlarged. And as I said my family doctor refused to even have a look, so....so I called a friend of mine, her same is Sheila - and she's straight - anyway I called her and asked her if she would you know, if she would have a look, and she, well she felt that it was bigger than it should be."

All I heard was gloves snapping off and the (now really fed-up) doctor yelling something about it "not being an emergency" and "no, no he would not 'have a look'" as he ran away. I was then wheeled away for an angiogram just in time to see here with a shocked "well, I never"" look on her face.

"So, I asked my friend Shiela....." SNAP! "If she would have a look and..." SNAP!

Pretty is as Pretty does.

Here's a couple of posts to look forward to in the coming days:

Trapped beside a man and his "service rabbit" who was even more fed-up than I was:



And me wasted after doing shots with the Hon. Barbara "NOBODY knows I'm a Jew! Haw!, Haw!," MacDougall!:




If you want to see a great show, go see Young at Heart at RTH, on July 10th. Or rent the amazing documentary of the same name. Here's the choir singing - the man singing this song was supposed to be singing this song with his friend who died the night before. It's...well you'll see. And yes, I forget how to link or embed or whatever the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gosIuO1HqEg&a=1vxcWzggidk&playnext_from=ML

Um, I've been really busy.........

But much more importantly, I've been really, really Happy. It's new; like an object that is shiny and precious. I'd almost forgotten....If I still lived in Banff I might even say "It's all good." And it is. And the best part - there is no shoe. There is no other shoe to drop. I'm exhausted, tired even, and can't remember the last time I was so happy.

And. There. (really). Isn't a shoe. Waiting. To. Drop.

I've been busy...actually busy living, so be a bit patient while I catch my breath and get caught-up on your blogs.



Deal?

Oh, and Here's Butchie.

Happy Birthday Madamerouge!

It's Madamerouge's birthday so here are some great pictures of him taken over the years, and if you click on the youtube video you can have the theme song to his all time favourite TV show in the background. Happy Birthday Madamerouge, our very own Blanche Devereaux!



(OH, and yes I know the pictures are all shitty and sideways, but I'm tired. Maybe Jason will be nice and fix them for me)

Peter gets Puzzled

Part of my homework for my MBSR class was to solve a simple looking puzzle. Let me first say that I hate puzzles and have always hated puzzles. I hated those puzzles with the little slidey squares where you had to make a picture or put the alphabet in order. I have never "solved" the Rubics Cube - although my mom thought I did only after I took all the stickers off and replaced them. Don't do crosswords. Sudoko? I had to Google it to even get the spelling right. The thought of even seeing a jigsaw puzzle spread-out on a table makes my blood pressure rise, although Madamerouge finds nothing more relaxing than sitting down with a good strong cup of tea and one of his favourite puzzles. I guess this says a lot about me, and I imagine not all positive.

Anyway, the task of solving the puzzle was something that caused me a lot of anxiety. This stemmed from the fact that I found it harder ( a lot!) than I thought I would and that it took me much longer to solve than I had expected it to. It was a frustrating experience, and there is an important lesson in that itself. It's a pretty famous puzzle so you may have already seen it and completed it in mere seconds. Here it is:


Connect all nine dots below without lifting your pen from the paper and using a maximum of four straight lines:



If you are as impatient and easily frustrated as I am, the solution is here

Peter falls down the Mindfulness Rabbit Hole

So today was the first "real" day of my mindful meditation class. We had to separate into pairs and learn about our partner by mindfully listening to them. Really listening to them. I'm not such a good listener. I'm a great talker, but thankfully we learned about the twelve blocks to listening, as adapted from Jason's favourite book. I have a few, but as Jason can also tell you (just ask him about what my dad said once) my biggest one is this:

Rehearsing: You don't have time to listen when you are rehearsing what to say. Your whole attention is on the preparation and crafting of your next comment. You manage to look interested, but your mind is going a mile a minute because you have a story to tell, or a point to make.


100% me.

We also ate a raisin. Have you ever done that? No. I mean really eaten a raisin. It took us 10 minutes. We ate it mindfully. I even listened to the raisin. Can you imagine?

And I liked it.

Did I dream you dreamed about me?

Jason has been bugging me to see the movie Candy for a while, and on Saturday I finally watched it with him and Madamerouge. It was really great, and I recommend that you watch it; actually Jason is generally a good source of movie suggestions, although we differed sharply on our opinions of both Battlefield Earth and Buckaroo Bonzai when he dragged me to see them. It was nice to see Madamerouge, who, between the start of Awards Season and the recent DVD release of the complete series of Maude, has been spending a lot of time at home.

I'd forgotten how much I love the song that plays during the introduction to the movie Candy. It's called Song to the Siren and although I was always particular to The Cocteau Twins (This Mortal Coil) version I really like the one they chose. It's a great song, and a cute scene of a happy and smiling Heath Ledger.



Oh, and today is actually the first day of the rest of my life. Seriously. I start my new job this week, have been dieting and continue my Mindfulness Meditation course. It's all really exciting, and more than that it's all really important. I need this to work - need to succeed here. I kinda feel like things are really (finally) coming together for me; that this could be the beginning of good things. It's considering this that I think that I may have (really this time) decided on a design that I would like to get as a tattoo. I've wanted one for years but could never (wait for it my friends) commit to an idea. I've had some funny-slash-witty-whatever ideas over the years, but nothing felt right enough to want to make permanent. I think a good example of one such idea was when I wanted to have the words please wear a condom on the small of my back above my ass, you know, just in case. I guess I kinda missed the boat on that one - maybe it wasn't such a "crazy" idea after all! My new idea sounds a bit hokey, but the thing that makes it different from my other ideas is that it also feels right. So, here goes. I was thinking about the new (great) direction that my life is taking after a couple of really shitty and unproductive years. I wanted something to remind me that I have turned a (big) corner - something that might be enough of a reminded/symbol to keep me on track. I was thinking a Phoenix. Maybe even something like this.

Don't Laugh. Please.

It's so nice to be back Blogging where I belong!

Hello, Butchie,
Well, Hello Mammy,
It's so nice to be back home where I belong
You're looking swell, Timmy,
I can tell, Sticky
You're still glowin', you're still crowin'
You're still goin' strong
For the band's playin'
One of my old favorite songs from way back when
So bridge that gap, fellas!
Find me an empty lap, fellas!
TooBusyLivin'll never go away again!

The truth is that after New Year's I had been a bit depressed. I was waiting (and waiting) to hear back from a fabulous job; it all seemed like a pretty inauspicious way to begin the New Year. I had pretty much given-up hope last week when they did call, and I got the job. I am literally beside myself with excitement. I won't mention the name of the restaurant on my Blog (thank's Tucker Carlson!) but you can read about it here. Be very happy and excited for me; this is the opportunity that I have been waiting (and waiting!) for! I start next week. In other great news I have also just started a 10 week program of intensive meditation and other stress-reduction techniques. The program is called Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and was first taught at UMASS by a doctor named John Kabat-Zin. He is also the author of a book that I have written about before called Full Catastrophe Living.

Anyway, I guess the point is that I'm really happy and excited about several great things that are all happening now; I'm looking forward to the year ahead and feel even better than the song below. Oh, I'm also on a diet. Skinnier Peter = Happier Peter. Every time I get hungry I just click on Jason's new personal website and my hunger just disappears! I may never be a top, but that's how I feel:

TooBusyLiving is One Year Old!

Yeah, I know. I wasn't that excited either until it occurred to me that the real milestone being marked here is that I managed to do something - anything - for an entire year. And that is a good thing. I've met some great people, shared some funny stories, and learned a little bit about myself along the way. Now all I need is a theme song I think. Some "Life Coaches" suggest that adopting a personal Theme Song is a good way to set the tone for your day; for example, I know that Madamerouge sings Elton John's The Bitch is Back every morning while riding the bus to work.

Suggestions?

Happy New Year!

I spent the weekend with my friend Tom and his wife and their three new babies. The idea was to get Tom and Christine a little caught-up on their sleep so I was on nighttime feeding duty (every two hours!) with one of Tom's sisters. It was great spending time with all of them, but I'm still really tired. We rung-in the new year together and they crashed and I came back home downtown. Not eventful, but it was nice all the same. For anyone that ever watched Absolutely Fabulous, I had a "moment" over the weekend that made me think of Eddie and smile. It was from the episode "New Best Friend" when Eddie's (formerly) minimalist and cool friends arrive for the weekend with a new baby. The line I was reminded me of was when an unimpressed Eddie points to her shirt and says "Lacroix, baby spew. Lacroix, baby spew." Here's a picture of her from that episode and then one of me. All the best to everyone in the new year!



Here's me saying "Eddie Bauer, baby spew."



I did the resolutions thing this year, and I think I have at least a 50-50 chance of keeping them, which is better than my recent average of zero. I'm not sharing though, although I may mention them in passing to Hubble if it comes up. You can read Heather Mallick's resolutions though here. She's one of the best writers around, and she always makes me smile.

At least he's in the right place!

I had a great appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday, and afterwards, was struck by this bit of graffiti in the bathroom off the waiting room. I hope he's OK. I'm not even sure why I'm sure that it's a "he," but I am. It took me a while to warm-up to Hubble, my psychiatrist, and even longer for me to "buy-in" to psychotherapy, but I'm really glad that I did and that I have. He's great. There's hope!

I was excited last week about a job prospect that appears not to have worked-out. In the meantime though, I used the positive experience of that interview to keep my momentum going, and have applied for some more great positions. I have an interview on Friday at 1:30 for one of them. Wish me luck! After the interview I'm off to my friend Tom's house for the weekend to give them a break and help with their three new babies. I'm looking forward to it.

So, in the meantime, enjoy this picture of Jason eating his lunch. It was a Jamaican Patty:

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are all having a lovely Christmas Day, and are hopefully far too busy fighting with your family and hiding your disappointment at your gifts to be checking-up on Blogs! If you missed the Queen's Christmas Day message, and I'll bet you did, you can read, listen or watch it here. There is even a Royal Podcast! How fabulous is that? Seriously, watching her message is something that we always did as a family when I was growing-up, and it makes me happy to still do it today. It reminds me of my mother and that's a good thing, especially at this time of year.

(Spoiler Alert!)





I'd hate to spoil the surprise for you, but she might even mention Muslims for the very first time ever! Awwww!








Oh yeah, Jason wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas too. This message, unlike that of The Queen's, doesn't come from a palace, but from his own cozy throne at Woody's last Friday night: